A Canadian is a Canadian is a Canadian and, hey, if you’re inclined to get involved in mass murder inspired by terrorism what better country can there possibly be in which to ply your trade than right here in Canada, Canada, Canada.
So, with a one, a two and a three, here’s the rundown.
1) Remember Saad Gaya? In case you don’t, he and his Al Qaeda-inspired homeboys in Toronto were planning on killing a whole bunch of people – hopefully hundreds – in Toronto just a few years back by exploding three tonnes of fertilizer in trucks outside CSIS headquarters, the Toronto Stock Exchange and the Canadian Broadcasting Centre while mowing down people with automatic weapons fire in the aftermath. Maybe as a precursor, too. Then, just for fun, they figured they’d storm Parliament, take hostages and behead the prime minister and anyone else who had an appealing nape of the neck. Alas for them, Allah was not willing and they were busted, convicted and jailed. Our pal Saad pleaded guilty and got 18 years. But heck, here in Canada, Canada, Canada, five is the new 18 and he’s been out for a couple of months now – even though he obviously still kinda makes people nervous because he’s not allowed to look at the Internet.
2) Next on the list is our old buddy Inderjit Singh Reyat – the only Canadian is a Canadian is a Canadian ever convicted in the Air India bombing that killed 329 men, women and children some 30 years ago when it was a lot less hip to plot mass murder than it is these days. He’s not remorseful, took one for the team on a perjury charge and is still considered a “relatively high risk for future group-based violence.” In most places, he’d never have seen the light of day again but here in Canada, Canada, Canada he’s in a halfway house.
3) Et la premiere etoile of Jihadi Night in Canada – the leader of the Toronto 18 – is about to get Canadian citizenship bestowed upon him. Yes siree, welcome back, Zakaria Amara. It’s just super to have you as a fellow citizen again, lo these many months after that dreadful Mr. Harper and his henchmen came up with the whacky idea that if you hold dual citizenship and are convicted of terrorism, Canada’s going to cut you loose to make sure that once you’re swiftly returned to the street (see above) you’ll be deported.
Well, there’ll be no more of that monkey business, which turns out to be good news for a few other dudes who wanted to attack Canadian military bases and at least one Canadian is a Canadian is a Canadian serving time for planning to decapitate employees of a Danish newspaper and toss their heads into the street. (Dear Diary: who doesn’t, really?)
Amara, who was actually baptized as an Orthodox Christian in Jordan before moving to Saudi Arabia (where that whole Christian thing is clearly not cool) and converting to Islam, arrived in Canada when he was 13 in 1997 and quickly adapted to our homegrown Jihadi lifestyle. In less than nine years he’d tried his darnedest to kill hundreds of his fellow citizens in a case the trial judge described as “spine-chilling.” He’s serving a life sentence – until he’s not, anyway – but he’ll get his citizenship back.
Conrad Black, of course, will never see his again.
Gosh and golly, hasn’t everyone’s favorite commie just got herself in a pickle lately? Having been pilloried for banning Rebel Media (first revealed at the end here) from government press conferences after mainstream media shifted off its ample arse, Rachel Notley upped her floundering this week.
First, the irascible Wildrose Party (who remind us ever so much of the Pinkertons in pursuit of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid) demanded to know what the heck she was thinking when it was discovered she’d been flown by comrade Andrea Horvath to Toronto to add a little sex appeal to the latter’s $10,000-a-plate dinner. The Premier of Albertastan assured the proletariat back home, though, that she’d been pre-cleared by that province’s ethics commissioner who’d said there is absolutely nothing wrong with, in effect, help Horvath raise a coupla hundred grand to continue to block the approval of pipelines and further crush Canada’s largest industry, which is on the verge of collapse and everyone is OK with that because the planet is in peril.
Thinking quickly, Notley’s motley strategists tried a “quick, look over there” and, once their candidate was in place but others weren’t, called a snap byelection for March 22 in Calgary-Greenaway (as an aside: this caused some predictably comic mismanagement by the Progressive Conservatives).
Showing all the suave Machiavellian sense of her PCAA predecessors, Madam Premier then made an announcement concerning funding for something green for the city formerly known as Calgary. This is an unseemly practise she pilloried while in opposition and even eschewed as recently as September when she righteously announced she’d have nothing to do with that sort of monkey business.
To be fair, she was probably expecting no one would notice her sneaking into Lucifer’s pawn shop because just the day before she’d trotted out her rather dazed finance minister, Joe Ceci. Qualified through his years of experience as a social activist on Calgary city council, Ceci announced that not only would his once wealthy province be posting something like a $6.4 billion deficit this year, the NDP were going all in for a $10.4 billion deficit next year and, well, they couldn’t really see balancing the budget ever again because, well, it’s hard and being a grownup sucks. The good news appears to be that no one holding a public sector union job need ever fear for their security, which will at least make Mr. Notley, who is a union executive, happy.