Honey, before we were married, I knew how to drive

West Midlands Police are investigating the officer who posted this for offences against their “social media policy”, whatever that is.

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Yet, the cartoon  is true. At various points in my life, I have been married and I have been single. I have had one accident at the age of 21, and another at the age of 59, both costing less than two thousand 2014 dollars to fix.

About once a month, maybe every six weeks,   I nearly hit a person or a car because of gasps, alarms, calls from my wife as passenger.

  • I have already seen them and calculated the risks. 90%
  • I have not seen them but was about to (my head was turning, I had not yet seen them but was in the process of looking. I was avoiding  the approaching car and did not see the squirrel, etc) 7%
  • We nearly had an accident because your call of alarm distracts my attention from the road to you – 3%

The worst offence is when you are in the middle of a busy intersection making a safe and legal turn when you wife/girlfriends calls out an alarm, or asks for a change of direction. Not in the middle of making a turn!

What is it about wives/girlfriends as passengers that they feel the only thing keeping us safe is their vigilance?

I realize this sounds like a self-caricature of a bad driver, but my insurance rates and accident record speak for themselves. Statistically, I am a safe driver. And I am far more likely to have an accident from being distracted from the road by a cry of alarm than we are from my failing to see danger approaching.

In a long life I have only once dated a stereotypically bad female driver; most have been excellent. But as passengers, most wives and girlfriends are sources of considerable risk.

As with everything these days, telling the truth in public will get you into trouble.


Those looking today for insight into the Gaza conflict or the shooting down of the Malaysian airliner by Russian thugs will have to look elsewhere. Each is, in its own way, not so much news as “Pope says mass at Easter”: utterly normal.

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chaos111_99

Reading a lot of the comments most people see it for what it is, a joke. It is the usual idiotic feminazis and easily offended who are complaining.Bet Richard Bucket would have loved it.

Nicola Timmerman

Actually my husband learned to drive after we were married but he now thinks he is a better driver. I am a more prudent driver and of course this can cause accidents as, especially in Quebec, other drivers forge ahead.

The other problem is my husband doesn’t hear well and won’t wear his hearing aid. So he has to turn his head to hear me or doesn’t hear me.

I remember the times I have kept him from having accidents but he has forgotten those.

It is a problem with people with two different driving styles.

Woody

I had this problem too. Gasps, emergency breaking on the passenger side, but the most annoying one was the sucking air through the teeth. Finally, one day, in exasperation I said with great sarcasm, “it’s a wonder how I drive without your help. All the accidents and nearly deads that I leave in my wake.” She looked at me and shut up, and has remained that way to date. It was actually more relaxing to drive without her.

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